As we have seen, the little ones need an adult capable of guiding them and helping them grow and face adversity. So we invite you to be that sensitive and loving inner guide yourself to help that wounded child get better. Here are some keys.
First, learn to know your inner child
To start taking care of him, it is important to know him well, don’t you think? Thus, we invite you to remember and remember what you were like as a child. On the one hand you can see what your hopes were, your fears, your desires and your environment at different ages and circumstances. But especially pay attention to times when your Child felt bad. Learn to see what he needed and didn’t get: attention, affection, fun… As well as the most embarrassing parts of him, the most frequent and important damages, embarrassments and concerns of him. With a clean look and without judgment, only acknowledging his emotional wounds with affection.
Visualization exercise to connect with your inner Child
First, find a comfortable and quiet place and close your eyes. Then pay attention to your breath for a few seconds. And consciously seek a state of greater tranquility. To do this you can take three deep breaths, gently inhaling and making the air reach your abdomen, and also exhaling relaxed. Then you can imagine that little person you were in front of you. If you want you can imagine him in her room, alone. She watches what she is doing, her face and her gestures. She tries to find out how she feels about herself. If you wish, you can repeat this small pattern on different occasions. Or imagining that little one at different ages.
Know when and why your inner child appears
Each person must know what people or situations in the present activate our nurturing your inner child. For some people, the Child appears rather in the face of loneliness. Others in social situations, or at work or in tasks that require some public exposure… Perhaps there are people who, due to their appearance or behavior, make us uneasy or angry, etc.
In addition to identifying these people or situations, it is necessary to also begin to connect why they appear. In other words, look for a justification that helps us to understand ourselves. “Ah ok, this person intimidates me, I think he reminds me of this friend who failed me.” Or “ah I feel envy, I think this person has something that I don’t have and it hurts me”.
Identify how it looks
Here, you can begin to learn about the pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that we tend to do when we are connected with our Inner Child. Each person has their own unique style, but here are some common examples.
- Thoughts : “I am not capable”, “I have to try harder”, “I am a disaster”, “this happens to me because…”, “I feel alone and I will always be alone”; “I don’t deserve anyone to love me”, “I’m not going to get it”, “it’s always the same”.
- Behaviors: withdrawing, isolating, being funny, being inconspicuous, trying to attract attention, avoiding situations, disguising, not stopping things (hyperactivity), being hostile, being arrogant, etc.
- Emotions: loneliness, shyness and shame, fear or anxiety, anger, bad mood, sadness or discouragement, etc.